I want you to read my tweets to tell me about them. im not putting them on fb or text them. Im to scared of u not replying or wat ull say -- potc13 (@potc13)
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
...
My heart aches. I want to be in your arms as i cry. I want to hear yu say im beauiful.even when i say im not. I need a hug. -- potc13 (@potc13)
My heart is crying. It hurts. I wonder why? Why does this pain come? Is it the pain of knowing i will never be yours? -- potc13 (@potc13)
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Friday, December 23, 2011
Later!
Making key lime pie then going to the beach...maybe alon to the beach but w.e.! Idc I'm going to the beach!... later, when the sun is up!
... yeah I'm still up...
Ps
Btw guys, for like what's on my mind and sh-t go to theresno1likeme.blogspot.com its me just more personal... so I have my diary and an all about me blog.. :-) okay. Night y'all
Dec. 23,2011 12:07
Hehe I just had to do that ok so I have been thinking a lot the year... mainly about love.
Will I find It? How do I know? Does he really love me? Am I annoying him or pushing him away? How can I get to know him better.. am I ready to be his gf? Or am I pushing myself away? Do I love him?
Okay so yeah... but this year it was 3 ... at the same time, then 2...now one is inoring me, oh well and.the other is being like my best friend. Ilove him! ..but do I really?
One thing really troubleing me is do I have to let go of josh, my first love? My 1love4me4everandaday, just to move on and see love when I get it back? Yes... I'm in love with my story charater.. and its fb offical, josh winters... funny thing is no one notices its fake... but these 3 guys and two other guys and a girl know he is fake...wow though... how do I. Dump him? How... I mean since I was 12! I can't just drop him...right?
Well my friend stopped texting ...its morning... I need sleep.. night y'all! And, please comment what you think. Nighty night!.. oh pics tomorrow! :-) and happy holidays!
Thursday, December 22, 2011
omg
am i really that sh*ty that people don't coment? woh just straight up tell me i'm a loser then! omg i'm going back to my clubpenguin blog, at lest people comment there!
Other people's love is my pain (each paragraph is a new edit)
why do I let it hurt me? Why? why, can't I just live with it? why must I put my self down? why do I enjoy this pain? why do i inflict this pain on me? will someone help me rid my self of it? or will i just push them away? push them to far, and they never come back?
One day I will push to hard, to far. People alread don't care, are alreday distant. I live alone, but yet not. I'm in my own world, sad, mad, hurt. In ur world I'm happy looking. Its all an act. When I write a story, I want it to be happy, bc I am not. I want love and happiness but I don't have it. I push I t away. That's why I write that I have it, its a mask, of things I want but I'm to concided to know I have them I just pushed it away.
I had to feel something, but everytime I say I'm not good enough, it won't happen... the bliss and the pain it brings makes me thing, makes me hope, make me wonder.... it makes me hurt myself, kno the truth... which is and always was... but I didn't always know it...
is it love?
I have to let go of one thing to move on. I try to move on without letting go. I found something, I'm sure. Can I still hold on, but yet move forward?
Does it hold me back? How do I know? Is it true? Is it false? Is it a lie? How do I know? Can I be sure?
Is it what I hoped? Is it what I want? Is it what I dream? No it's not, it can't be, I'm not.
Does it hold me back? How do I know? Is it true? Is it false? Is it a lie? How do I know? Can I be sure?
Is it what I hoped? Is it what I want? Is it what I dream? No it's not, it can't be, I'm not.
Monday, November 28, 2011
You know what?
Okay so this guy likes me...he is okay... but he is bi... I mean I would feel better if he were straight.. gay even but bi? I don't like him so why does this bother me? In Revelation chapter 2 or 3 I God says that he wishes we where hot or cold not luke warm... I think that's what I have a problem with about my bi friend....
Thursday, November 24, 2011
You know what?
Okay so this guy likes me...he is okay... but he is bi... I mean I would feel better if he were straight.. gay even but bi? I don't like him so why does this bother me? In Revelation chapter 2 or 3 I God says that he wishes we where hot or cold not luke warm... I think that's what I have a problem with about my bi friend....
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Sorry
Sorry I have not written here in forever...I have started new stories... did some poems.... writen stories...I have to put them on storywrite... but I added a lot to storywrite.com/stories/by/tyiptmylife
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
My hat
I love my yankees hat... yes... the one that this guy took.... and called me son... I'm pretty sure I'm a girl though... I get my hat back after school...do I look like a dude?
Just add the hat the way guys wear them
I mean come on! What can a hat do? At least I didn't get csi.. (idk what it is) or outdoor.. but still why take my hat???? It was on my head, it was not breaking any rules, it was not smoking, doing drugs useing its phone... wait my hat has a phone? Lucky! Ok I guess the only rule was it was on my head... half way! Ughhhhh w.e....w.e.
I mean fo u really hate the yankees that much? I mean come on! Everyone else has on a hat and u don't take the bulls, not this hat nor that hat but an ...(maybe not so) innocets (nor little) girl's hat????? Reallyyyy?????
I mean I'm out of uniform too, why don't u add that???
Monday, November 7, 2011
Ahh!!!!
I had a dream with a ghost I'm my closset... omg I don't like this! I think I helpped hefr... I shooded hert away then called hert back then she left
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Just a thought
Staring night by chris august... "he makes the moon reflect the sun" ok we reflect the son, we are the moon reflecting the son...
...
U don't desurve my time nor my friendship, atleast robbie and I can joke, aaron knows when I'm acting, 3than knows it me no matter the number that texts him and me, I'm not afraid to be myself!!!!!!
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Other blog
If u want to know me, and my changing twitter names are not helping and u don't like youtube go here http://www.no1likeme.blogspot.com
Friday, November 4, 2011
Have i?
Have I really changed that much??? The way act? The way I speek? The friends??? am I more shy? Have I really changed????
Soooooooooooo
Ok so this guy, I kinda liked him, and then he became obessed with me and I got turned off.... quickly... and umm well I hate him, and have 2 forgive him... he is not all bad, but he is up there...... I even tried re meeting him, that worked, but I know what he looks like... its not ugly nor is he cute.. but I don't like him.. anyways he started do the same thing... no lie, he does not seem tht obessed with me anymore.. but... he has many flaws.. I know we all do, but if I loved him I would not mind his flaws...but I do.... everymuch so... I know I have 2 forgive him..but idk how... maybe I have 2 forgive my self first... I am sorry kevin... u should know...
Tommy tutone : jenny/867-5309
Yeh... u should have seen it too.....
Friday, October 28, 2011
Just me
I feel childish, like peterpan, not wanting to grow up.... yet I'm getting older and its expected of me.... *I cry as I write this, but I have no reason to* but I don't want to grow up, I don't know how to grow up. I know I have to, on Monday I will be exaltly 2 months away from being an adult. I need to grow up. I don't want to grow up, I need to grow up.... I will grow up... this week I will change from a mental age of 5 to a mental age of a 17 year old.... or 18...... I don't know how, but I have to, .. at least to 17....
It' me, it's deffantly me
I keep telling myself, I have to grow up, I have to grow up. I find my self asking can I still dress in 80s style? How do I know how to act, when to laugh... I should just be alone... that way the werid girl, the freak, I, I don't get looked down on for being me, but then I tell myself that I'm a freak, that I'm weird... I don't need others to tell me what I know, because I know. I know I'm childish, I know I don't amout to anything. I know no one reads this, and I know that no one cares.... it's no use pretending.
Ok remeber the post about the game ticket
Well I did not go... no ride.. also no friends really went.. so yeah... good thing I did not buy it
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Just a thought
I heard firework by katie perry and a song about if I die young and I think smash mouth I get knocked down but I get up again, ur never going to keep me down... and I was thinking, life is like a vapor, and firework... it does not last long, and if I had to die right now, yeah I would want to be hung at the galows at dawn... but my funeral... I want to be put in a boat and sentdown the river and I want everyone to laugh at all the stupid thing I did, the jokes I told, the way I dress sometimes, I don't want people to cry, bc I know I will cry, I want them to laugh at me, laugh with me, laugh for me, but not cry for me, smile, smile bc u knew me don't cry bc I'm gone.... just be happy that I was alive for how ever long it was... read my stories I'm in them. Watch my videos, that's me... just don't cry.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Ok so depise the fact it looks like i pissed myself..it was a bet..kinda.... there was no winnings... these girls said sit in a puddle bc i kept walking through them... i said no, they said knee in the water i was a bout to... they screamed noo! Dont do it... then they said i wouldnt do it then i walkeed over to the puddle...and sat with my legs in a W shape...sooo yeah thats my school day... :-)
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Lol....
Lol I just saw my friend billy mays, ahh, how I miss him...he just walked away.... he is really cool.... I love him. Why do I fit in better with guys then I do girls? Girls just seem to annoy me... as do guys that love me... or they say that just to get in my pants... idk
Wohhhh
Ok I'm at camp... I'm happy, ish.... my head hurts and I feel out of place.... idk y, but I do...
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Oiiii soooo happpyyyy i gots my senior tee
Ok ok! So I did not sell enuogh magazines for a free tee but 5$ is not bad ... they r usely more! I sooo happy I gots it!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
I am soooooo tired!
I want to sleep!.. so.sleepy.must.read.get.light! Ughhhh pain... ughhh no bed...ughhhh must sleep.... but I can't! Ahhhh!
just a thought... (sunday)
Why does everyone say 'he was obetent unto death, even the death of the cross'? Because it was a grusome death, a vilonlet death, a death that you could die even before you where hung on the cross. The death of the cross was the worst death u could fathtom, u where wipted, beat, and competly torchered before you where hung, then u had to carry ur cross, and after u where hung, to speed up the prosses of death, ur legs where broken. So u could sufiacte.
My dream
Ok so I was at some drive in movie... type thing at a parking garage.... and I saw mike's care... and I left my delorian hotwheels car... I think I was with friends and durring the movie we kept looking at each other. From across the room... and then I went and sat next 2 him and we talked.... he didn't hate me anymore... and umm then like the movie I saw it few times and the after credits end was my fave bc it was him and me....umm but idk what the movie was.... I miss mike
Saturday
Chrismas play rehersal today! Is it really that time a year? I'm leaving soon... maybe I will put up pics :-)
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
My wall
This dude said look who is in front of u I said he is a wall he said he is not..."Im not a wall.....Im try to break your wall down but i can only do so much for u you need to help or try to break your wall down to"
This is what I think
I don't need to nothing my wall! I built it high and strong! It won't fall won't crumble it has some weakspots but not many and can stay up! If u have a problem with my wall oh well but other ppl made the weak spots some climbed and r on the inside with me some r on top debationg the side they want but just like leah and veronica, u don't care, u want it gone, sometimes I needs to be weaked from the inside with trust and friends. Not from the outside with war, it makes the wall thicker, stronger, higher,more protecting.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
My feelings
You know something? This guy, he kills me every day, every day, but i respect him. Even if it was not him saying it or his face but JUST the fact that they where HIS words saying I was a childish worthless piece of sh** I don't care that it kills me every day, or now I can't see him everyday. Leaving him... Him leaving me was the best thing for both of us even though I hated that feeling I also liked it I didn’t love him, didn’t want to tolerate him. I felt like Bella in New Moon, but I welcomed the pain. You, I feel like a worthless piece of cr** and I don’t like it! I feel like a watched pot, a freak show, even more worthless then I already think I am. I don’t like it, it makes me feel like I will never find love. I already know that! I don’t need anyone to tell me that! I know I need my self esteem to rise, but when i get treated like this it makes me want to die. if your name pops up on my phone I feel like dieing instantly or I smile depending on what you said or did! I can’t stand for this any more. and I was listening to Pandora as I wrote this, four songs came up but the last two where perfect. How to Save a Life by The Fray and You’re Not Sorry by Taylor Swift.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Lets tell a story
There once was a cat (let's name him DC) and up on the stove there was a pot, filled with what, that cat wondered, so the cat jumped up on the stove to look in the pot, and curiosity killed that darn cat., but wait that's not the end. satisfaction brought him back again.
Ok now everyone go watch that darn cat (the movie)! You see this old story, I just rewrote, but I kept the story line, just about the same :-)
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
10:53 am (im hideing)
Drop out or not? Ok so on my bag it has romans 12:2... or part of it I left it out side the bathroom stall and a teacher saw it and said it blessed her, she was sweet, had a gold cross, I felt dumbfounded and she was like waiting for me to tell me it felt, and also I felt kinda like I knew her
Tuesday
Maybe - sick puppys
Song of day......
I kinda want to drop out of highschool. I'm a senior still doing the same things I did last year..... and I'm behind, stupid. I can't do this!
Monday, September 5, 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Forgiveness... and a question.... it all leads to a question.
Ok I had this thought a few times... u know how they say forgive and forget? How you have to forgive your self (link to message soon) and how the Lord said to forgive ur brother 7 times 70? Well I have 2 forgive my self and others... its easer to forgive and forget what others have done wrong to u.. butwhat about what those things u did wrong to others or ur self (God)... even if they forgive u, u can't seem to forget, and u still feel guity about it. Right? But if u know u did wrong, and did not forget, and feel forgiven, and know u r.... but don't feel guilty, have u forgave urself?
Ok, so im done... sleep soon
As u read in the title... but I have to UNTIE my shoes first! Lol look!
Sunday
So I have to do 3 bullets for sec 3, 13 for sec 4 and do a current event.... omg mount. Hw much? And no I did not procrastiate on the project... current event sneeks up on me... and omg I can't focus... I need sleep.... gnight... soon.... let me do the last 3 bullets... :/... happy Monday tomorrow
Saturday!!
Ok wow you know every 1st pos will now be a day and every title after will be and outline of the post.... umm so the brade I'm holding is a little shorter then the rest of my hair O:-) and I'm going to make it blonde :-) umm I'm goin.g to bake... right now tho... I'm going to my room to do my project... my rents are fighting so my door is locked... I'm kinda scared... my sis just left her room... bye *wave*
Cat
Ok so in spanish class every one calls me catwoman bc of the cat ears... so ib just like woke up and ..... I just purred! I don't think I can do it again though.... ok time to do my hair... yah I'm a girly girl now
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Tibet....
"I'm friendless because I'm strong, I hide because I'm smart, i'm alone scared" Tuesday said holding Josh's hand
"You have me, I will always be there for you," Josh said as Tuesday looked him in the eyes "even in the middle of the night when you cry." he added as he squeezed her hand tighter as if to say you cant lose me.
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