why do I let it hurt me? Why? why, can't I just live with it? why must I put my self down? why do I enjoy this pain? why do i inflict this pain on me? will someone help me rid my self of it? or will i just push them away? push them to far, and they never come back?
One day I will push to hard, to far. People alread don't care, are alreday distant. I live alone, but yet not. I'm in my own world, sad, mad, hurt. In ur world I'm happy looking. Its all an act. When I write a story, I want it to be happy, bc I am not. I want love and happiness but I don't have it. I push I t away. That's why I write that I have it, its a mask, of things I want but I'm to concided to know I have them I just pushed it away.
I had to feel something, but everytime I say I'm not good enough, it won't happen... the bliss and the pain it brings makes me thing, makes me hope, make me wonder.... it makes me hurt myself, kno the truth... which is and always was... but I didn't always know it...
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