Just me

I feel childish, like peterpan, not wanting to grow up.... yet I'm getting older and its expected of me.... *I cry as I write this, but I have no reason to* but I don't want to grow up, I don't know how to grow up. I know I have to, on Monday I will be exaltly 2 months away from being an adult. I need to grow up. I don't want to grow up, I need to grow up.... I will grow up... this week I will change from a mental age of 5 to a mental age of a 17 year old.... or 18...... I don't know how, but I have to, .. at least to 17....

It' me, it's deffantly me

I keep telling myself, I have to grow up, I have to grow up. I find my self asking can I still dress in 80s style? How do I know how to act, when to laugh... I should just be alone... that way the werid girl, the freak, I, I don't get looked down on for being me, but then I tell myself that I'm a freak, that I'm weird... I don't need others to tell me what I know, because I know. I know I'm childish, I know I don't amout to anything. I know no one reads this, and I know that no one cares.... it's no use pretending.

So no one found and can read my blogg...that's good....hmmm but my youtube and twitters have been found all are known... now I have name changes to make... can I change my youtube name?

Soooo bored...please text me

Ok remeber the post about the game ticket

Well I did not go... no ride.. also no friends really went.. so yeah... good thing I did not buy it

Just a thought

I heard firework by katie perry and a song about if I die young and I think smash mouth I get knocked down but I get up again, ur never going to keep me down... and I was thinking, life is like a vapor, and firework... it does not last long, and if I had to die right now, yeah I would want to be hung at the galows at dawn... but my funeral... I want to be put in a boat and sentdown the river and I want everyone to laugh at all the stupid thing I did, the jokes I told, the way I dress sometimes, I don't want people to cry, bc I know I will cry, I want them to laugh at me, laugh with me, laugh for me, but not cry for me, smile, smile bc u knew me don't cry bc I'm gone.... just be happy that I was alive for how ever long it was... read my stories I'm in them. Watch my videos, that's me... just don't cry.

I got bored all over facebook

Lol it sounds like I vomited boredom on facebook

Ok so depise the fact it looks like i pissed myself..it was a bet..kinda.... there was no winnings... these girls said sit in a puddle bc i kept walking through them... i said no, they said knee in the water i was a bout to... they screamed noo! Dont do it... then they said i wouldnt do it then i walkeed over to the puddle...and sat with my legs in a W shape...sooo yeah thats my school day... :-)

Ok im stupid...i have to got to the game and buy theticket... not now

Today in 3rd..or like just now... i hd to read 'my fave food' and i felt confortable reading it... i never did..im happy

Ok

So I was told to look up tabby on youtube...ayone know her?

Lol....

Lol I just saw my friend billy mays, ahh, how I miss him...he just walked away.... he is really cool.... I love him. Why do I fit in better with guys then I do girls? Girls just seem to annoy me... as do guys that love me... or they say that just to get in my pants... idk

Wohhhh

Ok I'm at camp... I'm happy, ish.... my head hurts and I feel out of place.... idk y, but I do...

Oiiii soooo happpyyyy i gots my senior tee

Ok ok! So I did not sell enuogh magazines for a free tee but 5$ is not bad ... they r usely more! I sooo happy I gots it!

Fiu football game

I'm leaveing soon

I am soooooo tired!

I want to sleep!.. so.sleepy.must.read.get.light! Ughhhh pain... ughhh no bed...ughhhh must sleep.... but I can't! Ahhhh!

just a thought... (sunday)

Why does everyone say 'he was obetent unto death, even the death of the cross'? Because it was a grusome death, a vilonlet death, a death that you could die even before you where hung on the cross. The death of the cross was the worst death u could fathtom, u where wipted, beat, and competly torchered before you where hung, then u had to carry ur cross, and after u where hung, to speed up the prosses of death, ur legs where broken. So u could sufiacte.

My dream

Ok so I was at some drive in movie... type thing at a parking garage.... and I saw mike's care... and I left my delorian hotwheels car... I think I was with friends and durring the movie we kept looking at each other. From across the room... and then I went and sat next 2 him and we talked.... he didn't hate me anymore... and umm then like the movie I saw it few times and the after credits end was my fave bc it was him and me....umm but idk what the movie was.... I miss mike

Saturday

Chrismas play rehersal today! Is it really that time a year? I'm leaving soon... maybe I will put up pics :-)